Being a mom is not easy. Sometimes it can make us loss the sanity. Especially if we don’t have experience/we are a new mom. 

As a new mom, sometimes, we still feel confused, stress, exhausted, and all another uncomfortable feelings. Don’t blame ourselves because it’s so normal. We are still in adaptation process.

There is a time where you feel exhausted or just hate yourself or your spouse. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your child.

Yeah, being a mom is never easy, especially a new mom. But, we all believe that every expert was an amateur. So is a mom. We also believe that happy mommy makes kids happy too.

There are 5 points we should do to be a happy mom.

1. Love yourself, make your life meaningful.

I believe that every mom has their own way to make them feel meaningful. We often hear that before loving another we have to love ours. But in fact, we find difficulties to love ourselves unconditionally. We often hate ourselves. 

Then, how to love ourselves?

• Don’t compare our life. I know, It’s easy to be written, but it’s difficult to be done sometimes. 
• Don’t be perfectionist. It will kill us. It doesn’t matter if sometimes we so mistakes. Everyone does. Don’t push our selves to be an idealist or too good to be true. It’s impossible. Everyone has their own scar.
• Do exercise/sport we love.
• Enjoy the process. Enjoy the moment. Remember that motherhood is not a competition and childhood never come back.
• Don’t judge ourselves easily just because we can’t do some thing. We’re not a superhuman. Don’t push your self in high expectation. You are not a wonder woman. Don’t be perfect, be a normal.
• Don’t love and hate too much. It makes us disappointed.
• Don’t seek an attention. Just do our best.

2. Don’t be too active on social media like FB, Twitter, IG, or others which make our enery drain. Don’t waste the time. Be an independent mom. I mean we do not need others’ approval to be happy. No matter how they said, we have to be ourselves.

3. Be thankful. I finally became a mom after eight years of marriage. Alhamdulillah. Be grateful every day. 🤗

4. It doesn’t matter if sometimes we cry a lot just because a simple thing, but make sure that we have the solutions after all. We have to move on and move forward.

5. Manage our inner child well.

Do you believe that everyone has their own another side? It’s called inner child. There is always a child inside of adult. Maybe, it sounds nice. But, unfortunatelly, it’s not. Inner child can damage our future if we can’t manage them well.

The cambrigde dictionary explained that inner child is a child personality that will react when something happened that related with your past: bad experience or unfinished business. Inner child has two kinds: positive and negative. Positive inner child makes our life as adult more interesting, not boring. But, negative inner child? Not only ourselves who can be suffer, bur also the others.

Then,As long as we life, it’s so imposibble if our life is always be okay. Sometimes, we hurt by people’s behaviour. Or in another time, we are being someone who hurt another one.

How to deal with inner child?

• Identificate what the problems you still feel until now which happened when you were child or young.
• It doesn’t matter if you still have bad feeling about your bad experience in the past. Don’t be denial person. Accept them all. Accept that sometimes you are so weak and fragile. Not only you, but all people do the same. It’s normal.
• Then, promise to yourself that no matter how hard your life and how bad your past, you can be a better person. It doesn’t mean you have to be someone who can get everything. No, it’s not like that because all the achievements are meaningless if you are not happy. So, being a better person means being a happy one. Be happy for the first. Not for them, but for you.
• Forgive! Yeah…. I know It’s not easy, but if you want to step forward to the next higher level, you have to set them free. You have learned many things that is useful for your future.

I hope those points I wrote above can remind you help me help us to be a better mom, be a happy mom. I believe when we are trying to give the best to our family, our children, spouse, and... ourselves.

Happiness is not only looking happy face with smiley, but also when the inner has the same condition with the outer. Let's be a happy mom!